I'm not a Trekkie by any means, but I do watch it occasionally for a good laugh. Everyone is a scientist, an engineer, a diplomat. Earth is a place of communal peace. Technological wonders abound, from transporters to the spaceships themselves. Again, I watch it as a comedy because our future will look nothing like that.
Which movie will it look like?
"Idiocracy."
The premise: A regular Joe and a prostitute get sent 500 years into the future and because society has gotten so dumb, are the smartest people in the world (regular guy: Luke Wilson).
I realized this was the course we are taking after watching a post-sweeps evening of television.
Sure, there are some smart programs on the air and channels dedicated to education, but sandwiched between are the hints of what our culture is devolving into. Nevermind shows like "American Idol" where more Americans vote for an over-commercialized forgettable vocalist than they do for the Congressional representatives who oversee the laws and budget allocations that govern their lives outside the "idiot box."
No, I'm referring to programs like:
"Hurl" where contestants participate in eating contests then are put on a gyroscope. Whoever pukes last wins $1000. Seriously.
"Legally Blonde: The Search for the Next Elle Woods" where a mediocre Broadway musical trolls for "talent" to replace it's lead actress.
"A Shot at Love With Tila Tequilla": in it's second season, overly-hormonal jocks and lesbian-for -the-sake-of-being-on-TV-lesbians compete for the affections of a plasticine spit receptacle famous only for having over a million MySpace friends.
The one show, though, that really illustrates my point is returning for a second season, and if this year is anything like the first run, it will be the single biggest indicator of our nations collective failure in the appreciation of culture and intelligence. I refer, of course, to "America's Got Talent." A redneck ventriloquist, and I repeat, ventriloquist, was determined to be the most talented person in America by not only the esteemed panel of experts led by David Hasselhof, but by the millions of votes from average America.
That same average American who gets sent into the future in "Idiocracy."
I'm not sure which is worse: who dreamed up these travesties, who green-lit these pile of offal, or the millions who participate in these insults to intelligence.
It is the sheer number of votes that are received on these programs that are the single biggest indicator of where our country is headed. We will vote over and over again for "America's Best Dance Crew", but less than half of the country is registered to vote for President. With this kind of real-world apathy it is no wonder we elect scallywags like George W Bush, Dick Cheney, Katherine Harris, or Larry Craig. If we listened to politicians the same way we listen to contestants on Idol, we wouldn't be in the stagnant state we are now.
Perhaps we should give the Presidential candidates 877 numbers and allow Americans to text their vote.
Then again, if we chose a ventriloquist, then we'd probably elect another Cheney, hand up W's butt, speaking out the side of his mouth hoping people will think it's Georgie.
So for the sake of our country, for the our children's children, for the safety of the universe, please please please turn off your televisions this summer. Close the laptop. Muffle those texting fingers with gardening gloves. Every child dreams of being a super-hero. Here's your chance to be one and save the world...
,,,from stupidity.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
AARP is A-OK!
Restaurants are a wealth of entertainment. Take a few minutes just to cock your head in another table's direction and nine times out of ten you'll get a head-shaking earful. Dinner and a show! And as much as you might think it's teenagers or lovey-dovey couples that might provide the best fodder for a chuckle, it is the senior citizen that never fails to entertain. Case in point was the lone diner at the table next to Lisa and I at the local Italian bistro. After receiving his chicken casear salad he grumbled, harumphed, and sighed heavily in an attempt to attract the attention of the young floor manager. As she approached hesitantly he let loose his disdain about the size of his meal.
"This is not eleven dollars worth of chicken. You need to bring me eleven dollars worth of chicken. Not a whole other portion of chicken, just enough so that I have eleven dollars worth of chicken."
I so can't wait to become a senior citizen!
Many people do every thing they can to stave off the progress of years. I, on the other hand, cannot wait for the fun and obnoxious benefits of being a post-sixty five year old. The world is at your feet once you reach gumper status.
First off, who would pass on a perpetual ten percent discount on virtually everything? My mother couldn't understand my fathers enthusiasm in joining AARP. Dad, however, understood the benefits completely: discounts discounts discounts. I'm going to have to double laminate my membership card to keep it intact against it's constant use.
A few years back I was at the local grocery and found myself waiting in queue to checkout. Without warning a crusty old fella jumps in front of me without a word. After realizing he's not with the family in front of me, I tap him on the shoulder for his attention.
"Sir, the end of the line is back there," I inform him as I point over my shoulder.
"So? I'm old!"
Although I'm known for being an impatient person, I will be the first to let someone with one or two items to go ahead of me if I have a full cart. It's just the courteous thing to do. But Mr. Crusty didn't ask and wasn't even remotely nice about it.
"I don't care if you're a hundred and eighty, get your ass to the back of the line."
"But I'm old!"
"Yeah, and you're rude, too, and rude trumps old. You should have just asked to go ahead. Now get thee to the end of the line."
I sooooo can't wait to try and pull something like that! The assumption that having wrinkles is your passport to expedience is a tactic I look forward to attempting.
You can say whatever is on your mind without fear of offending anyone. Whatever verges on insane or inane can be excused by age or the possibility of being senile. Shout out loud in public, scold cacophonous teenagers. Sometimes talking so absurdly to someone can get them to cave in to something just by nature of being exhausted with trying to understand you. This works best on high school students working retail at Christmas. Those sweaters aren't buy one get one free, but by the time you're done asking how the sale works for the thirtieth time, you'll get that second sweater for free, or at least a discount.
Sick of sitting in traffic? Once you're retired the sidewalk is your own personal commute lane. There's always a story in the paper about some half-blind, seizure-ridden Octogenarian knocking over pedestrians with their El Dorado like bowling pins. And you'll always get Doris Day parking: those blue spaces you so coveted in your twenties are now yours for the taking. If those aren't available, park that champagne colored Buick wherever the hell you like. I'm old! They should paint those lines better! I'm special!
Getting older is your ticket to freedom. You'll no longer be constrained by the tenets of decorum. Deference is due you. And you can finally buy things, like Preparation H without embarrassment.
After about five minutes of picking through his eleven dollar chicken caesar, our friend at the next table asked for a to-go box. Making sure he didn't spend any unnecessary cash, he whipped out his tip card, left his dollar, and exited with tomorrow's meal.
"You know, that's you in a few years," my wife laughed.
"I hope so. I certainly hope so."
"This is not eleven dollars worth of chicken. You need to bring me eleven dollars worth of chicken. Not a whole other portion of chicken, just enough so that I have eleven dollars worth of chicken."
I so can't wait to become a senior citizen!
Many people do every thing they can to stave off the progress of years. I, on the other hand, cannot wait for the fun and obnoxious benefits of being a post-sixty five year old. The world is at your feet once you reach gumper status.
First off, who would pass on a perpetual ten percent discount on virtually everything? My mother couldn't understand my fathers enthusiasm in joining AARP. Dad, however, understood the benefits completely: discounts discounts discounts. I'm going to have to double laminate my membership card to keep it intact against it's constant use.
A few years back I was at the local grocery and found myself waiting in queue to checkout. Without warning a crusty old fella jumps in front of me without a word. After realizing he's not with the family in front of me, I tap him on the shoulder for his attention.
"Sir, the end of the line is back there," I inform him as I point over my shoulder.
"So? I'm old!"
Although I'm known for being an impatient person, I will be the first to let someone with one or two items to go ahead of me if I have a full cart. It's just the courteous thing to do. But Mr. Crusty didn't ask and wasn't even remotely nice about it.
"I don't care if you're a hundred and eighty, get your ass to the back of the line."
"But I'm old!"
"Yeah, and you're rude, too, and rude trumps old. You should have just asked to go ahead. Now get thee to the end of the line."
I sooooo can't wait to try and pull something like that! The assumption that having wrinkles is your passport to expedience is a tactic I look forward to attempting.
You can say whatever is on your mind without fear of offending anyone. Whatever verges on insane or inane can be excused by age or the possibility of being senile. Shout out loud in public, scold cacophonous teenagers. Sometimes talking so absurdly to someone can get them to cave in to something just by nature of being exhausted with trying to understand you. This works best on high school students working retail at Christmas. Those sweaters aren't buy one get one free, but by the time you're done asking how the sale works for the thirtieth time, you'll get that second sweater for free, or at least a discount.
Sick of sitting in traffic? Once you're retired the sidewalk is your own personal commute lane. There's always a story in the paper about some half-blind, seizure-ridden Octogenarian knocking over pedestrians with their El Dorado like bowling pins. And you'll always get Doris Day parking: those blue spaces you so coveted in your twenties are now yours for the taking. If those aren't available, park that champagne colored Buick wherever the hell you like. I'm old! They should paint those lines better! I'm special!
Getting older is your ticket to freedom. You'll no longer be constrained by the tenets of decorum. Deference is due you. And you can finally buy things, like Preparation H without embarrassment.
After about five minutes of picking through his eleven dollar chicken caesar, our friend at the next table asked for a to-go box. Making sure he didn't spend any unnecessary cash, he whipped out his tip card, left his dollar, and exited with tomorrow's meal.
"You know, that's you in a few years," my wife laughed.
"I hope so. I certainly hope so."
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Doughnut Hole-y War?
Ironically, I was drinking my morning coffee when I read about this egregious act of paranoia. A right-wing conservative group asked Dunkin Donuts to pull an add featuring Rachael Ray because she was wearing a scarf that looked slightly like a Muslim keffiyeh. Never mind the fact that coffee originated in Arabia. Conservative commentator Michelle Malkin claimed that the keffiyeh (which is worn by males, not females) "has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad."
The term Jihad, in it's true, original definition, refers to an internal struggle against sin. The modern Western understanding comes from a convoluted translation made by Christian Crusaders in the 12th century.
Beyond that, though, I fail to understand how drinking a Dunkin Donut Mochaccino will contribute to a struggle for international recognition of a Palestinian state. Unless Rachael Ray is a subversive in the PLO, at which point I think Homeland Security should start doing their job and detain her as an enemy combatant.
Within a day of the announced boycott Dunkin Donuts crumbled like a crueller and pulled the ad.
If we are to somehow find ourselves agreeing with this boycott, then we need to make sure we are boycotting all Islamic products just to make sure we don't spontaneously start praying to Mecca five times a day.
So put down that bottle of Evian because Muslims invented water purification.
But don't grab that Coca Cola as a substitute. That's right, carbonation in beverages was an Islamic creation.
Your hygiene is going to suffer pretty dramatically. Soap was first seen in Mesopotamian society as was perfume. So no more baths, showers, deodorant, cologne, body wash, or shampoo.
Better think about driving the kids to Disney this year 'cause you can't fly. The magnetic compass. Muslim creation.
Oh, but you can't drive either. Even though Henry Ford invented the automobile, it was the simple crankshaft that made Babylon grow.
And without ambulances, how are you going to get to the hospital when you get sick? You can't go anyway. You won't be able to get a blood test, get a flu shot, or even your self-indulgent treatment of Botox. The hypodermic needle is a Middle Eastern invention.
And you better burn that Bible of yours. Paper. Egyptians. Muslims.
Another irony. The term boycott comes from England. Charles Boycott protested new tax laws on his land in Ireland by the British. 160 years later the British were smack in the middle of another land dispute: the seizure of Palestinian land to create the State of Israel, launching the "jihad" these right wing extremists are referring to in their own boycott of Dunkin Donuts.
So who do you shake your head at more? The ill-educated extremists or the corporation that succumbed to their demand?
We can talk about that later. My Arabian Mocca Java is getting cold and Rachael Ray is on in just a few minutes....
The term Jihad, in it's true, original definition, refers to an internal struggle against sin. The modern Western understanding comes from a convoluted translation made by Christian Crusaders in the 12th century.
Beyond that, though, I fail to understand how drinking a Dunkin Donut Mochaccino will contribute to a struggle for international recognition of a Palestinian state. Unless Rachael Ray is a subversive in the PLO, at which point I think Homeland Security should start doing their job and detain her as an enemy combatant.
Within a day of the announced boycott Dunkin Donuts crumbled like a crueller and pulled the ad.
If we are to somehow find ourselves agreeing with this boycott, then we need to make sure we are boycotting all Islamic products just to make sure we don't spontaneously start praying to Mecca five times a day.
So put down that bottle of Evian because Muslims invented water purification.
But don't grab that Coca Cola as a substitute. That's right, carbonation in beverages was an Islamic creation.
Your hygiene is going to suffer pretty dramatically. Soap was first seen in Mesopotamian society as was perfume. So no more baths, showers, deodorant, cologne, body wash, or shampoo.
Better think about driving the kids to Disney this year 'cause you can't fly. The magnetic compass. Muslim creation.
Oh, but you can't drive either. Even though Henry Ford invented the automobile, it was the simple crankshaft that made Babylon grow.
And without ambulances, how are you going to get to the hospital when you get sick? You can't go anyway. You won't be able to get a blood test, get a flu shot, or even your self-indulgent treatment of Botox. The hypodermic needle is a Middle Eastern invention.
And you better burn that Bible of yours. Paper. Egyptians. Muslims.
Another irony. The term boycott comes from England. Charles Boycott protested new tax laws on his land in Ireland by the British. 160 years later the British were smack in the middle of another land dispute: the seizure of Palestinian land to create the State of Israel, launching the "jihad" these right wing extremists are referring to in their own boycott of Dunkin Donuts.
So who do you shake your head at more? The ill-educated extremists or the corporation that succumbed to their demand?
We can talk about that later. My Arabian Mocca Java is getting cold and Rachael Ray is on in just a few minutes....
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
The state of edumication
I read the newspaper every morning, starting with the front page, local news, business, sports, and then the lifestyle section. I like to save the humor for last to set a good tone for the day. Unfortunately today's section set an entirely different tone, the type of tone that makes you inhale deeply, purse your lips, shake your head, and let loose a forlorn sigh of defeat. The bitter taste in my mouth wasn't from my room-temperature coffee.
"Hitler's instrumentality of terror was the Gespacho."
"More than two decades later it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way."
One of these quotes is a student's test answer. The other is a direct quote from our President.
Every once in a while the paper will feature these humorous gaffes as submitted by teachers, but more often than not, these are grade-school students. In today's edition, the test answer came from a college student.
Look at the two quotes again. Can you tell which belongs to which? Or shall I re-phrase that to say: which quote belongs to the current President and which belongs to a future President.
If this glaring example of sheer stupidity is an indicator of the current state of education in this country then history will look back and hail George W Bush as model of smarterness and elloquental vocalating. The 2000 election should be example enough: confusion about how to read the ballot card and failing to follow the directions as given on the ballot lead to mis-cast votes and the election of "The Decider."
There are many books, calendars, t-shirts, etc., of "Bushisms." The mere fact that there is enough of these to fill an entire book is a slap in the face to the nation's education system and the public at large. Leaders are ones who are supposed to set examples, be standards of excellence. Instead we have the leader of the free world, the most powerful man on the planet, laud remarks by His Supreme Holiness, the Pope, by saying "Thank you, Your Holiness; awesome speech."
Surfers, gamers, stoners, Valley Girls, kids on playgrounds, Chris Farley, astronomers, reality tv show contestants, Rolling Stone magazine, hippies, Ultimate Fighting Champions, sk8ers, and Ty Pennington would be expected to use the word "awesome" to describe the Pope's words, but the President of the United States? Dude....
We have a President who called his closest advisor "Turd Blossom."
Edumacation has never polled in the top 5 issues important to Americans in this election. And judging by the answers on these college level tests, our future leaders won't be pushing it to the fore-front either. Even when Barack Obama gets elected, it'll be just like college all over again: Congress won't study for the tests Professor President will give it, give plenty of excuses for not completing assigned work, and hap-hazzardly rush through everything to make it to recess.
There is an entire book of "funny" test answers, from whence came today's quotes in the paper. But knowing that our future lies in the hands of these same students isn't funny at all. George W Bush is a shining example of our laissez-faire attitude towards education. (Go find a dictionary and look it up.... or don't....)
Even though Bush was recently gave an address to the Israeli Knesset and his remarks referred to the errors of appeasement, the quote about Hitler was not his. That was a test answer. The leader of the United States was the genius who compressed our own history into twenty short years. I guess he has the right, after all, he is the Decider.
"Hitler's instrumentality of terror was the Gespacho."
"More than two decades later it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way."
One of these quotes is a student's test answer. The other is a direct quote from our President.
Every once in a while the paper will feature these humorous gaffes as submitted by teachers, but more often than not, these are grade-school students. In today's edition, the test answer came from a college student.
Look at the two quotes again. Can you tell which belongs to which? Or shall I re-phrase that to say: which quote belongs to the current President and which belongs to a future President.
If this glaring example of sheer stupidity is an indicator of the current state of education in this country then history will look back and hail George W Bush as model of smarterness and elloquental vocalating. The 2000 election should be example enough: confusion about how to read the ballot card and failing to follow the directions as given on the ballot lead to mis-cast votes and the election of "The Decider."
There are many books, calendars, t-shirts, etc., of "Bushisms." The mere fact that there is enough of these to fill an entire book is a slap in the face to the nation's education system and the public at large. Leaders are ones who are supposed to set examples, be standards of excellence. Instead we have the leader of the free world, the most powerful man on the planet, laud remarks by His Supreme Holiness, the Pope, by saying "Thank you, Your Holiness; awesome speech."
Surfers, gamers, stoners, Valley Girls, kids on playgrounds, Chris Farley, astronomers, reality tv show contestants, Rolling Stone magazine, hippies, Ultimate Fighting Champions, sk8ers, and Ty Pennington would be expected to use the word "awesome" to describe the Pope's words, but the President of the United States? Dude....
We have a President who called his closest advisor "Turd Blossom."
Edumacation has never polled in the top 5 issues important to Americans in this election. And judging by the answers on these college level tests, our future leaders won't be pushing it to the fore-front either. Even when Barack Obama gets elected, it'll be just like college all over again: Congress won't study for the tests Professor President will give it, give plenty of excuses for not completing assigned work, and hap-hazzardly rush through everything to make it to recess.
There is an entire book of "funny" test answers, from whence came today's quotes in the paper. But knowing that our future lies in the hands of these same students isn't funny at all. George W Bush is a shining example of our laissez-faire attitude towards education. (Go find a dictionary and look it up.... or don't....)
Even though Bush was recently gave an address to the Israeli Knesset and his remarks referred to the errors of appeasement, the quote about Hitler was not his. That was a test answer. The leader of the United States was the genius who compressed our own history into twenty short years. I guess he has the right, after all, he is the Decider.
Monday, May 26, 2008
History Lessons
We will never win the war on terror. Everyone knows this, including the warmongering neo-cons in the White House. We won't win the war because it is not a war in the classical sense. It is not army pitted against army battling for sovereignty. It is a guerrilla war of ideology being fought as a conventional war of supremacy.
Every generation considers itself smarter and more advanced than the generation before. The arrogance of each progression explodes exponentially. This hubris is what has lead our current leaders to make the same mistakes civilization has made before. Cliches are cliches because they hold a modicum of truth but we tend to ignore such golden maxims as "hindsight is 20/20" and "those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it." There are insanely valid reasons why this war is compared to Vietnam. We cannot see a finish line not because there is too much blinding ticker-tape, we cannot see it because we are running the wrong race.
The number of lessons to learn from are staggering. The most glaring should be our very own Revolution. The Reader's Digest version: Americans waged a successful guerrilla war against a conventional army unwilling to modify it's fighting tactics. The attacks of 9/11 changed the face of modern warfare, in terms of tactics, just as the introduction of mustard gas and mechanized weaponry changed the nature of conflict during the First World War.
Al-Queda does not have a standing army but stands as the single greatest enemy of the United States. In response we pump billions of dollars into a missile defense system to defend Western Europe from attacks from Russia and China? This makes as much sense as moving all of our armies to the Canadian border were we to be attacked by Mexico. If anything this senseless build up has done nothing but provocate nations that currently pose no threat to global peace. Russia is undergoing an economic renaissance due to oil exploration and production. China is working to mend its image world-wide while building up one of the strongest economies of the 21st century. To what purpose would these emerging economic markets threaten their prosperity by aggression against Europe or the United States?
It is a by-product of Cold War thinking. Because we face an ideology rather than a nation as an enemy we turn to more comfortable and familiar posturing; we aim missiles and puff our chests.
And we give the world another reason to call us "bully."
Lessons of the past. We were accused by the global community of building an empire after our dominance in the Spanish-American War. We seized territories around the world and intended to keep them in our ever-lasting lust for expansion. The isolationism that followed during the Wilson years repaired our tyrannical image. Our magnanimity following the Second World War in the form of the Marshall Plan cemented our reputation as "knights in shining armor." After earning disdain for our face-saving reluctance to excise ourselves from Vietnam our place in the world remained tenuous. Ironically it was George HW Bush who repaired our profile by following his UN mandate to the letter when liberating Kuwait from the Iraqi incursion. He did not use it as a prelude to further aggression and America was seen once again as the peace-maker of the globe.
It is now the norm to claim to be Canadian while travelling abroad.
How far we've fallen while trying to "do the right thing." While it was justified to retaliate after the attacks on the World Trade Center, we did so in the fashion of nation against nation. And we haven't adjusted that mind-set thus far. We are fighting against an enemy that doesn't adhere to the same rules or principles of warfare that we do.
So like a young child who cannot successfully complete a level of play on a videogame, we yank the game and put in another, ignoring the fact that the old game will remain active and incomplete until we decide to face it again and go at it from a different angle.
Afghanistan to Iraq to ....
Barack Obama has been roundly criticized for proffering a dialogue with our enemies. These attacks from come from the far right, the never-back-down crowd. These ideologues are the same people who hold Ronald Reagan in god-like reverence. Ronald Reagan is the great Cold Warrior who faced down the Evil Empire and brought freedom and democracy to Eastern Europe...
...by talking to his enemy face to face.
Synonymous with "Republican", Richard Nixon was the one who held a dialogue with communist China. This was a nation of a billion people with the world's largest standing army, practitioners of an ideology anathema to democracy. It was a face to face dialogue that eased tensions and allowed the flourishing of economic expansion on a global scale that we see today.
There has been a lasting peace between Egypt and Israel for over 30 years because two sworn enemies sat down face to face and talked. Though not a perfect peace, it is a peace non-the-less and is an example of the power of inter locution.
We instinctively attack what we don't know and understand. New York was attacked because our actions in the Middle East are perceived as being only favorable toward Israel. The United States is seen as intolerant of Muslims and Islam. Our attacks on Iraq have only deepened that belief. Would a summit change any of that? How are we to know if we don't try. We've tried the belligerent militant way for seven years without success. If Senator Obama is to be decried for wanting to face his enemy off of the battlefield, then so, too, must Reagan and Nixon be denounced for their cowardly acts of attrition.
It is Memorial Day. I would rather see a future Memorial Day when we remember finding a lasting peace. Until the players change, the game will remain the same.
Every generation considers itself smarter and more advanced than the generation before. The arrogance of each progression explodes exponentially. This hubris is what has lead our current leaders to make the same mistakes civilization has made before. Cliches are cliches because they hold a modicum of truth but we tend to ignore such golden maxims as "hindsight is 20/20" and "those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it." There are insanely valid reasons why this war is compared to Vietnam. We cannot see a finish line not because there is too much blinding ticker-tape, we cannot see it because we are running the wrong race.
The number of lessons to learn from are staggering. The most glaring should be our very own Revolution. The Reader's Digest version: Americans waged a successful guerrilla war against a conventional army unwilling to modify it's fighting tactics. The attacks of 9/11 changed the face of modern warfare, in terms of tactics, just as the introduction of mustard gas and mechanized weaponry changed the nature of conflict during the First World War.
Al-Queda does not have a standing army but stands as the single greatest enemy of the United States. In response we pump billions of dollars into a missile defense system to defend Western Europe from attacks from Russia and China? This makes as much sense as moving all of our armies to the Canadian border were we to be attacked by Mexico. If anything this senseless build up has done nothing but provocate nations that currently pose no threat to global peace. Russia is undergoing an economic renaissance due to oil exploration and production. China is working to mend its image world-wide while building up one of the strongest economies of the 21st century. To what purpose would these emerging economic markets threaten their prosperity by aggression against Europe or the United States?
It is a by-product of Cold War thinking. Because we face an ideology rather than a nation as an enemy we turn to more comfortable and familiar posturing; we aim missiles and puff our chests.
And we give the world another reason to call us "bully."
Lessons of the past. We were accused by the global community of building an empire after our dominance in the Spanish-American War. We seized territories around the world and intended to keep them in our ever-lasting lust for expansion. The isolationism that followed during the Wilson years repaired our tyrannical image. Our magnanimity following the Second World War in the form of the Marshall Plan cemented our reputation as "knights in shining armor." After earning disdain for our face-saving reluctance to excise ourselves from Vietnam our place in the world remained tenuous. Ironically it was George HW Bush who repaired our profile by following his UN mandate to the letter when liberating Kuwait from the Iraqi incursion. He did not use it as a prelude to further aggression and America was seen once again as the peace-maker of the globe.
It is now the norm to claim to be Canadian while travelling abroad.
How far we've fallen while trying to "do the right thing." While it was justified to retaliate after the attacks on the World Trade Center, we did so in the fashion of nation against nation. And we haven't adjusted that mind-set thus far. We are fighting against an enemy that doesn't adhere to the same rules or principles of warfare that we do.
So like a young child who cannot successfully complete a level of play on a videogame, we yank the game and put in another, ignoring the fact that the old game will remain active and incomplete until we decide to face it again and go at it from a different angle.
Afghanistan to Iraq to ....
Barack Obama has been roundly criticized for proffering a dialogue with our enemies. These attacks from come from the far right, the never-back-down crowd. These ideologues are the same people who hold Ronald Reagan in god-like reverence. Ronald Reagan is the great Cold Warrior who faced down the Evil Empire and brought freedom and democracy to Eastern Europe...
...by talking to his enemy face to face.
Synonymous with "Republican", Richard Nixon was the one who held a dialogue with communist China. This was a nation of a billion people with the world's largest standing army, practitioners of an ideology anathema to democracy. It was a face to face dialogue that eased tensions and allowed the flourishing of economic expansion on a global scale that we see today.
There has been a lasting peace between Egypt and Israel for over 30 years because two sworn enemies sat down face to face and talked. Though not a perfect peace, it is a peace non-the-less and is an example of the power of inter locution.
We instinctively attack what we don't know and understand. New York was attacked because our actions in the Middle East are perceived as being only favorable toward Israel. The United States is seen as intolerant of Muslims and Islam. Our attacks on Iraq have only deepened that belief. Would a summit change any of that? How are we to know if we don't try. We've tried the belligerent militant way for seven years without success. If Senator Obama is to be decried for wanting to face his enemy off of the battlefield, then so, too, must Reagan and Nixon be denounced for their cowardly acts of attrition.
It is Memorial Day. I would rather see a future Memorial Day when we remember finding a lasting peace. Until the players change, the game will remain the same.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
American Idol will get Obama elected President
It's a devisive topic but I have to take a moment and throw my two cents in. It is no secret that I am a big supporter of Barack Obama. The pundits have all but declared him president-elect and have dismissed Hillary even as she plows ahead making arguments as solid as a seive. It's not for the pundits that I believe Obama deserves the nomination, but for three distinct reasons:
1. Compare the campaign slogans. Obama for America vs. Hillary for President. Simply put, one person is running for the people, the other is running for themself. One is all about others, the other is all about me me me. The slogans are subtle indicators of each candidate's motive.
2. The argument that Hillary is the only one who can woo white working class voters is bunk. Obama handilly defeated her in states that are very very white, beginning with Iowa. Idaho, North Dakota, Missouri, Washington, Nebraska. Oregon. The other side of the argument that the white working class voters who supported Hillary won't support Obama in the general election is skewed as well. Polls show that Hillary supporters would jump to McCain. These are opinions given in the heat of the moment out of loyalty to the candidate and frustration at the possibility of losing. Just as Cubs fans and White Sox fans are polarized, if one were to go to the World Series, I doubt there would be rooting for the out-of-town team by anyone from either fan base. Democrats will support Democrats even when their original candidate is not chosen. It is far more important that a Democrat regain the White House than to fracture the party by vanity.
3. Americans know deep down that were Hillary to be elected President she would face the same bitter partisan attacks throughout her administration as her husband did through his and we would endure another four years of a stalled government. She brings too much baggage to effectively end congressional gridlock and partisan bickering. Will anything change if the history books read: Bush, Clinton, Clinton, Bush, Bush, Clinton?
Bill Clinton is famous for saying he wants to please everybody. He did and said anything to make people happy. That school of thought is the one Hillary attends and she will do and say anything, depriving her of a real system of beliefs or agenda. She will do and say anything to get elected (gas tax holiday anyone?) putting her in a class of politicians who are all about gaining power instead of gaining an opportunity to help others. As the first serious female candidate for President she squandered a great opportunity to be a voice for woman's issues, equality issues, putting her name to a central idea and remaining faithful to it's pursuit (Obama came into the race because he was a consistent proponent of changing the status quo. Being an opponent of the war from the day Congress was asked to authorize it he has been faithful to an issue and has not pandered to voters by changing his stance in the slightest). Hillary enetered the race because she felt it was "her time." Her agenda wsa not issues-based, it was based on a presumption of entitlement.
Selfishness vs selflessness.
We've had seven years of selfishness. Do we want four more?
Americans are registering to vote in record numbers. Watch American Idol and you will notice that as the format has stayed the same every season, viewership and voting numbers have consistently declined. People are tired of the predictable banality and are looking for a reason to become re-engaged. The same is true for politics. We are seeing unimaginable exlposions in voter registration because we finally have something to peak our interest: the chance to make things change.
this blog may also be viewed at:
www.myspace.com/mcmuppet
don't forget to read Chicken's blog at:
www.myspace.com/chickenlovesmillie
1. Compare the campaign slogans. Obama for America vs. Hillary for President. Simply put, one person is running for the people, the other is running for themself. One is all about others, the other is all about me me me. The slogans are subtle indicators of each candidate's motive.
2. The argument that Hillary is the only one who can woo white working class voters is bunk. Obama handilly defeated her in states that are very very white, beginning with Iowa. Idaho, North Dakota, Missouri, Washington, Nebraska. Oregon. The other side of the argument that the white working class voters who supported Hillary won't support Obama in the general election is skewed as well. Polls show that Hillary supporters would jump to McCain. These are opinions given in the heat of the moment out of loyalty to the candidate and frustration at the possibility of losing. Just as Cubs fans and White Sox fans are polarized, if one were to go to the World Series, I doubt there would be rooting for the out-of-town team by anyone from either fan base. Democrats will support Democrats even when their original candidate is not chosen. It is far more important that a Democrat regain the White House than to fracture the party by vanity.
3. Americans know deep down that were Hillary to be elected President she would face the same bitter partisan attacks throughout her administration as her husband did through his and we would endure another four years of a stalled government. She brings too much baggage to effectively end congressional gridlock and partisan bickering. Will anything change if the history books read: Bush, Clinton, Clinton, Bush, Bush, Clinton?
Bill Clinton is famous for saying he wants to please everybody. He did and said anything to make people happy. That school of thought is the one Hillary attends and she will do and say anything, depriving her of a real system of beliefs or agenda. She will do and say anything to get elected (gas tax holiday anyone?) putting her in a class of politicians who are all about gaining power instead of gaining an opportunity to help others. As the first serious female candidate for President she squandered a great opportunity to be a voice for woman's issues, equality issues, putting her name to a central idea and remaining faithful to it's pursuit (Obama came into the race because he was a consistent proponent of changing the status quo. Being an opponent of the war from the day Congress was asked to authorize it he has been faithful to an issue and has not pandered to voters by changing his stance in the slightest). Hillary enetered the race because she felt it was "her time." Her agenda wsa not issues-based, it was based on a presumption of entitlement.
Selfishness vs selflessness.
We've had seven years of selfishness. Do we want four more?
Americans are registering to vote in record numbers. Watch American Idol and you will notice that as the format has stayed the same every season, viewership and voting numbers have consistently declined. People are tired of the predictable banality and are looking for a reason to become re-engaged. The same is true for politics. We are seeing unimaginable exlposions in voter registration because we finally have something to peak our interest: the chance to make things change.
this blog may also be viewed at:
www.myspace.com/mcmuppet
don't forget to read Chicken's blog at:
www.myspace.com/chickenlovesmillie
God Bless Uzbekistan
My folks were sitting out on the front porch in the Indian Summer evening when I got up the courage to approach them. Did I have a speech prepared, I don't really remember, but I do recall being determined not to take "no" for an answer. Little did I know that this conversation would later change my life in a way I could never have made up if I tried.
"I'm going to go to the Soviet Union this year." Mind you, this was 1990 and Gorbechev was still in power. "I need to see what the Evil Empire."
The money I needed to go had been set aside for a car, but there would always be cars. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I braced myself for battle.
"Okay, but it's gonna be cold."
Two months later I was standing in the middle of Registan Square in the center of Samarkand, Uzbekistan having my picture taken by my Intourist guide Dmitri. I was literally half-way around the world, trodding the same wind-swept steppes as Tamerlane in a city over a thousand years old. I was exploring the far flung corners of the Soviet Empire. Tashkent, Dushanbe, Shakhrisabz. Twelve time zones from home. Little did I know that this small muslim nation at the foothills of the Himalaya mountains would determine my future.
The years after my adventures in Russia were aimless and without purpose. Jobs and acquaintances became a blur. My life lacked purpose and direction. I was burned out from the frenetic world of restaurants and was seeking a change. Tired of working nights, I found a new home at Starbucks. This was before it became the over-zealous McDonald's of the coffee world. Back then it was a smaller company that had just expanded into the Chicago market, still committed to quality and the well-being of it's employees. Finding my niche, I threw myself into it and began to find happiness.
It did not take me long to move up and gain recognition. I became a management trainer taking over a store that held a regional classroom facility. Although I was on a fast-track up, I remained just as cocky and arrogant as ever.
The management trainers were summoned to a certification meeting at the corporate headquarters downtown. Yawn. Another boring meeting. And not being too keen on one of the heads of HR who would be running the meeting, I was less than thrilled to waste this day.
It was the fishnet stockings that made me notice her. Pretty bold, I thought.
We went around the table telling the group an interesting tidbit about ourselves. Remember, the world revolves around me so I had very little interest in the banalities of others. But then...
"I was with Doctors Without Borders in Uzbekistan."
My head shot up, my ears burned, my eyes wheeled on fish-net stockings. I noticed her with more focus now. Suede skirt. Knee-high leather boots. Big turquoise jewelry. Corn-silk hair. Clear emerald eyes. Curves. Incredible curves. Tingly-climbing-the-rope-in-gym-class curves.
My eyes stayed on her as we continued around the room. When it was my turn I focused on her. I, too, had been to Uzbekistan. Something else about F Scott Fitzgerald, blah blah blah. But what I said I was saying directly to her.
We were given a break. Needing some air I followed the majority of the group down the elevators to the front plaza. A tap on the shoulder.
"F Scott, huh?"
"Uzbekistan, really?"
How much was I a self-absorbed jack-ass in those days? I have no recollection of her performing a tasting of coffee prior to the start of the meeting. Yet I eagerly followed her to the kitchen once we were dismissed offering to help her clean up. I walked her to her car, six blocks out of my way. Discovering I lived close to the store she ran, I was invited to stop by for it's grand opening.
Not only did I show up, I stayed for hours, chatting with her Napoleon-esque district manager, patiently waiting for her to end her shift. A drink? Sure.
It was our first date. That night I fell in love with her walk. We drank black martinis. We had our first kiss.
Today, we celebrate our fourth wedding anniversary. We have lived in many cities across this country. We each have fond memories of favorite places. She misses New Orleans, I long for the gentility of Georgia. But we will both always hang our hearts in Uzbekistan.
this blog may also be viewed at:
www.myspace.com/mcmuppet
don't forget to read Chicken's blog at:
www.myspace.com/chickenlovesmillie
"I'm going to go to the Soviet Union this year." Mind you, this was 1990 and Gorbechev was still in power. "I need to see what the Evil Empire."
The money I needed to go had been set aside for a car, but there would always be cars. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I braced myself for battle.
"Okay, but it's gonna be cold."
Two months later I was standing in the middle of Registan Square in the center of Samarkand, Uzbekistan having my picture taken by my Intourist guide Dmitri. I was literally half-way around the world, trodding the same wind-swept steppes as Tamerlane in a city over a thousand years old. I was exploring the far flung corners of the Soviet Empire. Tashkent, Dushanbe, Shakhrisabz. Twelve time zones from home. Little did I know that this small muslim nation at the foothills of the Himalaya mountains would determine my future.
The years after my adventures in Russia were aimless and without purpose. Jobs and acquaintances became a blur. My life lacked purpose and direction. I was burned out from the frenetic world of restaurants and was seeking a change. Tired of working nights, I found a new home at Starbucks. This was before it became the over-zealous McDonald's of the coffee world. Back then it was a smaller company that had just expanded into the Chicago market, still committed to quality and the well-being of it's employees. Finding my niche, I threw myself into it and began to find happiness.
It did not take me long to move up and gain recognition. I became a management trainer taking over a store that held a regional classroom facility. Although I was on a fast-track up, I remained just as cocky and arrogant as ever.
The management trainers were summoned to a certification meeting at the corporate headquarters downtown. Yawn. Another boring meeting. And not being too keen on one of the heads of HR who would be running the meeting, I was less than thrilled to waste this day.
It was the fishnet stockings that made me notice her. Pretty bold, I thought.
We went around the table telling the group an interesting tidbit about ourselves. Remember, the world revolves around me so I had very little interest in the banalities of others. But then...
"I was with Doctors Without Borders in Uzbekistan."
My head shot up, my ears burned, my eyes wheeled on fish-net stockings. I noticed her with more focus now. Suede skirt. Knee-high leather boots. Big turquoise jewelry. Corn-silk hair. Clear emerald eyes. Curves. Incredible curves. Tingly-climbing-the-rope-in-gym-class curves.
My eyes stayed on her as we continued around the room. When it was my turn I focused on her. I, too, had been to Uzbekistan. Something else about F Scott Fitzgerald, blah blah blah. But what I said I was saying directly to her.
We were given a break. Needing some air I followed the majority of the group down the elevators to the front plaza. A tap on the shoulder.
"F Scott, huh?"
"Uzbekistan, really?"
How much was I a self-absorbed jack-ass in those days? I have no recollection of her performing a tasting of coffee prior to the start of the meeting. Yet I eagerly followed her to the kitchen once we were dismissed offering to help her clean up. I walked her to her car, six blocks out of my way. Discovering I lived close to the store she ran, I was invited to stop by for it's grand opening.
Not only did I show up, I stayed for hours, chatting with her Napoleon-esque district manager, patiently waiting for her to end her shift. A drink? Sure.
It was our first date. That night I fell in love with her walk. We drank black martinis. We had our first kiss.
Today, we celebrate our fourth wedding anniversary. We have lived in many cities across this country. We each have fond memories of favorite places. She misses New Orleans, I long for the gentility of Georgia. But we will both always hang our hearts in Uzbekistan.
this blog may also be viewed at:
www.myspace.com/mcmuppet
don't forget to read Chicken's blog at:
www.myspace.com/chickenlovesmillie
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