Ryan Seacrest: Prophet of Doom

I'm not a Trekkie by any means, but I do watch it occasionally for a good laugh. Everyone is a scientist, an engineer, a diplomat. Earth is a place of communal peace. Technological wonders abound, from transporters to the spaceships themselves. Again, I watch it as a comedy because our future will look nothing like that.

Which movie will it look like?

"Idiocracy."

The premise: A regular Joe and a prostitute get sent 500 years into the future and because society has gotten so dumb, are the smartest people in the world (regular guy: Luke Wilson).

I realized this was the course we are taking after watching a post-sweeps evening of television.

Sure, there are some smart programs on the air and channels dedicated to education, but sandwiched between are the hints of what our culture is devolving into. Nevermind shows like "American Idol" where more Americans vote for an over-commercialized forgettable vocalist than they do for the Congressional representatives who oversee the laws and budget allocations that govern their lives outside the "idiot box."

No, I'm referring to programs like:

"Hurl" where contestants participate in eating contests then are put on a gyroscope. Whoever pukes last wins $1000. Seriously.

"Legally Blonde: The Search for the Next Elle Woods" where a mediocre Broadway musical trolls for "talent" to replace it's lead actress.

"A Shot at Love With Tila Tequilla": in it's second season, overly-hormonal jocks and lesbian-for -the-sake-of-being-on-TV-lesbians compete for the affections of a plasticine spit receptacle famous only for having over a million MySpace friends.

The one show, though, that really illustrates my point is returning for a second season, and if this year is anything like the first run, it will be the single biggest indicator of our nations collective failure in the appreciation of culture and intelligence. I refer, of course, to "America's Got Talent." A redneck ventriloquist, and I repeat, ventriloquist, was determined to be the most talented person in America by not only the esteemed panel of experts led by David Hasselhof, but by the millions of votes from average America.

That same average American who gets sent into the future in "Idiocracy."

I'm not sure which is worse: who dreamed up these travesties, who green-lit these pile of offal, or the millions who participate in these insults to intelligence.

It is the sheer number of votes that are received on these programs that are the single biggest indicator of where our country is headed. We will vote over and over again for "America's Best Dance Crew", but less than half of the country is registered to vote for President. With this kind of real-world apathy it is no wonder we elect scallywags like George W Bush, Dick Cheney, Katherine Harris, or Larry Craig. If we listened to politicians the same way we listen to contestants on Idol, we wouldn't be in the stagnant state we are now.

Perhaps we should give the Presidential candidates 877 numbers and allow Americans to text their vote.

Then again, if we chose a ventriloquist, then we'd probably elect another Cheney, hand up W's butt, speaking out the side of his mouth hoping people will think it's Georgie.

So for the sake of our country, for the our children's children, for the safety of the universe, please please please turn off your televisions this summer. Close the laptop. Muffle those texting fingers with gardening gloves. Every child dreams of being a super-hero. Here's your chance to be one and save the world...

,,,from stupidity.