Doughnut Hole-y War?

Ironically, I was drinking my morning coffee when I read about this egregious act of paranoia. A right-wing conservative group asked Dunkin Donuts to pull an add featuring Rachael Ray because she was wearing a scarf that looked slightly like a Muslim keffiyeh. Never mind the fact that coffee originated in Arabia. Conservative commentator Michelle Malkin claimed that the keffiyeh (which is worn by males, not females) "has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad."

The term Jihad, in it's true, original definition, refers to an internal struggle against sin. The modern Western understanding comes from a convoluted translation made by Christian Crusaders in the 12th century.

Beyond that, though, I fail to understand how drinking a Dunkin Donut Mochaccino will contribute to a struggle for international recognition of a Palestinian state. Unless Rachael Ray is a subversive in the PLO, at which point I think Homeland Security should start doing their job and detain her as an enemy combatant.

Within a day of the announced boycott Dunkin Donuts crumbled like a crueller and pulled the ad.

If we are to somehow find ourselves agreeing with this boycott, then we need to make sure we are boycotting all Islamic products just to make sure we don't spontaneously start praying to Mecca five times a day.

So put down that bottle of Evian because Muslims invented water purification.

But don't grab that Coca Cola as a substitute. That's right, carbonation in beverages was an Islamic creation.

Your hygiene is going to suffer pretty dramatically. Soap was first seen in Mesopotamian society as was perfume. So no more baths, showers, deodorant, cologne, body wash, or shampoo.

Better think about driving the kids to Disney this year 'cause you can't fly. The magnetic compass. Muslim creation.

Oh, but you can't drive either. Even though Henry Ford invented the automobile, it was the simple crankshaft that made Babylon grow.

And without ambulances, how are you going to get to the hospital when you get sick? You can't go anyway. You won't be able to get a blood test, get a flu shot, or even your self-indulgent treatment of Botox. The hypodermic needle is a Middle Eastern invention.

And you better burn that Bible of yours. Paper. Egyptians. Muslims.

Another irony. The term boycott comes from England. Charles Boycott protested new tax laws on his land in Ireland by the British. 160 years later the British were smack in the middle of another land dispute: the seizure of Palestinian land to create the State of Israel, launching the "jihad" these right wing extremists are referring to in their own boycott of Dunkin Donuts.

So who do you shake your head at more? The ill-educated extremists or the corporation that succumbed to their demand?

We can talk about that later. My Arabian Mocca Java is getting cold and Rachael Ray is on in just a few minutes....