The Worst Name In The World

There are names that just always seem to apply to everyone with that name, no matter who the person. For me, there is one name that connotates Asshole. That name?

Tom

Allow me to illustrate...

Toms that are assholes:

Tom Brady: Football players should not be pussies and have publicists. Get out of the limo, off your vapid model girlfriend, and get dirty. Oh, and way to go abandoning the mother of your bastard child 3 months before she's due. Asshole

Tom Cruise: Hostage to a religion that is not a religion makes you an asshole

Tom Arnold: Still not funny on Best Goddamned Sports Show Ever

Tom Hanks: Because you made a movie about astronauts, that does not make you an astronaut, stupid asshole

Tom Brokaw: You blew a chance to let the candidates implode on national television. You've lost it, and Peter Jennings would be calling you an asshole

Tommy Bahama: Thanks for starting a clothing trend for self-serving rich assholes who would rather sink a putt than a dollar in social services

Tommy Tune: child molester. asshole.

Tom Sizemore: since when did drinking, doing drugs and beating your girlfriend senseless get you a cable show?

Tommy Chong: from funny to pathetic

Tom Poston: asshole made me tune in to Newhart

Thomas Jefferson; hypocrite slave owner: founding asshole

George W Bush: should have been named Tom

Tom Bergeron: DWTS is an abomination. AFV is another abomination. Stop killing America's braincells, asshole

C Thomas Howell: Soul Man, really?

Tom Selleck: makes anyone else with a mustache look like an asshole

Tom Waitts: if I tried to sing like that, I'd be asked to stop; you sing like that and my wife's heart melts. asshole

Tom Collicchio: you get to be next to Padme Lakshmi for weeks on end for Top Chef. asshole!

Doubting Thomas: I'm not even a Christian and I think you're an asshole. Way to support the team, dude....

Tom Clancy: Jack Ryan is a stupid CIA name. Go write for a soap opera, asshole

Tom Landry: You're no Curly Lambeau, asshole (and the Cowboys are NOT America's team...any team that has had two pussies for QB (Troy Aikman and Tony Romo) cannot lay claim).

Tom Spenard: Yes, there's a story there, lets just leave it at: super collossal asshole

If your name happens to be Tom, go by your middle name. Trust me, otherwise you'll just end up being an .....