The Pursuit of MY Happiness

So why am I sitting here on the Fourth of July banging out my miscreant thoughts instead of getting sunburned at a local fest or bloated from a cold frosty PBR? Because Americans can't read.

Every newspaper across the country today will invariably print a copy of the Declaration of Independence in full, which most will scan over instead of reading word for word, assuming they remember it from their school days. But like a bad game of "Telephone", the rights claimed therein have gotten slightly muddled after two hundred plus years. Specifically, the inalienable right to the "pursuit of happiness."

We aren't guaranteed happiness itself, rather, the right to try and make ourselves as happy as we wish. Whether or not we achieve happiness is another story. Unfortunately, we have become a nation of immediacy as illustrated by the brevity of "YouTube" clips, leaders speaking in sound bites, and television on demand through DVRs and TiVo. We have gone from a saving society that planned for purchases to one of debt where we get what we want now and deal with the consequences of that purchase later. Immediacy has pervaded every part of our lives. Pundits call elections the very second the polls close. Movies can be downloaded to your computer instantly for viewing so you don't have to waste the thirty minutes it would take to go to the video store and back.

Americans don't pursue happiness anymore, they expect it, and they expect it now.

I'm sitting in my office typing on my computer right now because I can't go to a fest or a picnic or barbecue. My wife is at work today. On a national holiday. In the summer. A holiday that celebrates the document that purports her right to try to be happy, which I would assume to be a day off to celebrate the nation's birth. Instead, she's sitting in an office rectifying obstacles to other peoples need for immediate happiness.

In other words, she's got to be the one who tells people they aren't getting the product they ordered because the Post Office is closed today.

My question is why the Post Office has the gall to be closed when every other business in America remains open on the nation's birthday? How dare they infringe on the happiness of the American people like that? Don't they realize that we will collapse as a civilization if we don't get what we want when we want it?

As I wait for my wife to get home from work, I could get in my car and waste the $4.26 per gallon tank of gas on hopping from strip mall to strip mall buying all those things I feel would make me happy today, from a new mattress (the top honor for our country as the biggest mattress sales usually correspond to our more patriotic holidays (President's Day, Columbus Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Veteran's Day, Fourth of July)) to a wide screen television to a garden gnome for the back yard. You name it, I could buy it today, on this, our biggest national holiday.

Really, what better way to celebrate our national birthday than by exploiting it's greatest virtue: greed. We have been a nation of consumers since the first days of the Republic, ever expanding, ever building, ever growing. So why should we close our businesses on this one day? It would be un-American to prohibit rampant commercial consumption.

And it would be un-American to ignore the true meaning of this day.

There was a time not so long ago that we held this holiday in a higher esteem. Growing up in the Seventies, the only businesses open on the Fourth of July were the grocery stores for those who needed a few more hot dog buns for the picnic or a bag of ice for the cooler. But they, too, shut down by noon. Perhaps it was the occurrence of the Bicentennial that made us a bit more reverent, but it doesn't explain how other national holidays were honored in the same way. You couldn't go to the mall on Labor Day because it was actually a day off from labor, for everyone. Now days, most companies don't even offer time and a half for working on that day.

The Fourth of July should be the day that everyone gets to pursue happiness by having a day off work and being able to enjoy the day in whatever manner they chose. The Fourth of July should not be a day when we expect happiness by having someone else answer the complaint line you have called because you are pursuing happiness. It's not guaranteed that someone will answer that line and make you happy, but you have every right to call and try to be made happy. It's that "try" part that trips everyone up.

So go back to today's paper, pull out that reprint of the Declaration of Independence, and actually read it. Double check that "happiness" part. It's not an inalienable right, but trying to be is. So I think I might go try and get my wife to take off work early so that I can try and enjoy the rest of this day. Sorry if that means you won't get your merchandise today. You'll just have to try and deal with it.